1. What is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a form of psychological and emotional abuse, with distinct characteristics and impacts on those on the receiving end (Receiver) from the person Gaslighting (Gaslighter) [1]. Five categories of gaslighting include bold-faced lying, coercion, scapegoating (blame shifting), reality questioning, and trivialising [2].

Gaslighting is part of a combination of behaviours seen in Coercive control, which became a crime in England and Wales in 2015, the Republic of Ireland and Scotland in 2019, and Northern Ireland as of 2022 [3]. Gaslighting occurs in 74% of domestic violence cases with female victims; it is a predictor of domestic violence [2].

2. In What Scenarios Do We See Gaslighting?

Research indicates that individuals with either higher or lower-than-average ability to influence and charm others may be more prone to gaslighting behaviours [3]. While commonly discussed in the realm of intimate partner violence and domestic abuse, gaslighting can also arise in everyday situations, including interactions with doctors, teachers, friends, and colleagues [4].

Community values and societal prejudices can be weaponised to shame individuals, such as framing an adult child as dishonouring a parent, labelling a woman as promiscuous, or associating people of colour with criminal behaviour [5].

Conceptually, gaslighting can be used to describe the collective experiences of marginalised social groups. These experiences involve similar dynamics, including power imbalances, denial of credibility, and invalidation of lived experiences, and are relevant in contexts such as racism, sexism, classism, homophobia, and transphobia [5].

In such cases, vulnerability often stems from minority status, lack of representation, or entrenched societal structures—such as patriarchy or hierarchical workplace relationships—where dominance by one group is normalised. The broader consequence of this dynamic can be the societal acceptance and normalisation of the oppression and marginalisation of entire groups [5].

3. Why do people stay in relationships where they are being Gaslit?

Gaslighting is an insidious, underhanded manipulation tactic and tends to take place, at least initially, without the awareness of the Receiver [R4]. Relationships where gaslighting occurs are not only filled with gaslighting. There is a mix of affection and abuse throughout the relationship [3].

Gaslighting is sustained in relationships by co-existing with rationalisation of bad behaviour and love bombing, and occurring in a cycle with each other [3]. Playing happy families and ignoring abuse are examples of minimisation or normalisation [6].

4. Why do people gaslight other people?

There are different motivators for gaslighting behaviour. It is not always the same. It is generally considered that the gaslighter aims to control the thoughts, actions, emotional state, perception, and sense of reality of the Receiver [7]. Gaslighting occurs as a power play tactic and can involve quickly establishing a power dynamic [4].

Some research suggests this behaviour is driven by a need for control, avoidance of accountability, or ego-based pleasure seeking. Gaslighters may not be aware of what they are doing, as they fail to see the bigger picture [3]. Separation insecurity, irresponsibility, impulsivity, and sensation seeking are indicators of future gaslighting behaviour [7]. Maintaining power imbalances relies on controlling resources and narratives [5].

Other research suggests that Gaslighting is not driven by the need to control, but by vindictiveness.

5. Signs that gaslighting may be taking place

Love-bombing resembles what one might expect during the honeymoon phase of dating, but is more intense. Positive behaviours that seem excessive and disorienting, but are positive nonetheless and generally enjoyable, such as over-commitment, being sold a dream future together, being showered with gifts, attention, and compliments, and being charmed. It could also involve some declaration of love or commitment that seems too soon, e.g., professing love after two dates [3].

The gaslighter may show signs of contempt for the gaslightee, e.g., their time is more important than the gaslightee’s time, or they can interrupt and speak over the gaslightee, or dominate conversations in such a way that undermines the contributions of the gaslightee. Gaslighters may be dismissive and completely ignore issues raised regarding their behaviour [4].

Gaslighting convinces the person on the receiving end that their experience is not real; if it is real, then it is not important; if it is important, then it is their fault [5]. “Confusion, unequal caregiving responsibilities, shame, credibility loss, gender-based insults, verbal abuse” [5]. Shame is used as a tool to destroy credibility, and make a person feel as though they are not a reliable witness to their own experience” [5].

Gaslighting has been used to describe the experience of social groups, rather than individuals, with the same characteristics applying, for example, power dynamics, denied credibility, and denied experience. Contexts such as racism, sexism, classism, homophobia, and transphobia, i.e. where a group may be vulnerable due to minority status, lack of representation, or an established social construct in which one group dominates the other; for example, this could also apply to a parent-child relationship, patriarchy, or a boss-employee relationship [5].

6. What is the impact on well-being ?

Research highlights that gaslighting is a predictor of poor psychological health and well-being [8]. Gaslighting affects every aspect of a person's life, from career to romantic relationships.

Gaslighting can cause mental health conditions such as anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) [2]; symptoms of which include: difficulty trusting others, decrease in self-confidence, self-worth, and self-esteem, loss of sense of self, confusion, co-dependency, hopelessness, self-blame, submissiveness, and social/ existential loneliness, doubting one’s memory and perception of reality [5].

Traumatic events like gaslighting do not always cause PTSD. Factors such as social support impact PTSD development [6]. Similarly, a lack of self-compassion or a perceived lack of social support from family and significant others is associated with a reduced ability to withstand a gaslighting experience [8].

People who have been gaslit may feel so isolated that they no longer want to leave the house [5]. Social loneliness involves relationships with others. Existential loneliness involves one's relationship with oneself and the world [6]. Existential loneliness stems from feeling unappreciated, unseen, and misunderstood, with unfulfilled needs. Empathetic relationships recognise and accept a person’s life experiences and identity, providing an emotionally safe space in which to exist and connect [6].

Abuse may cause survivors to feel that their abuser is always present, i.e., omnipotent, a God-like status. Survivors sometimes feel a sense of responsibility for things beyond their control and a sense that their identity has been erased. As though they are not real, or not a person. These concepts are derealisation or depersonalisation. They are hallmarks of PTSD and understood to be coping strategies, which may serve some physiological protective benefit at the time of abuse, but cause harm as they continue to persist when abuse is no longer occurring [6]

7. Recovering from Gaslighting

Recovery requires awareness and acceptance that, in reality, gaslighting was occurring [3]. Focusing on someone's actions, not their words, and addressing a wrongly placed sense of self-responsibility for being on the receiving end of gaslighting [2].

Once acceptance occurs, survivors may look back on events retrospectively and see things from a different perspective, or in a new light; this can be an excruciating process, but it makes it difficult for a survivor to continue accepting and rationalising the gaslighter's behaviour. The cycle will stop and the survivor can recover when behaviour can no longer be justified. Recovery relies on establishing some distance from the person who is gaslighting and focusing on healthy relationships and meaningful activities. Distance does not necessarily need to be physical; it can be emotional.

Spending more time with others socially could aid in breaking the cycle, if it helps to reaffirm the survivor's sense of self [3]. Social networks and community support could be effective avenues to mitigate the risk and effects of gaslighting [5].

The role of professionals and personal contacts when interacting with domestic abuse, and whether these people minimise or normalise the abuse, has a significant impact on the existential loneliness experienced by victims [6]. If PTSD or other psychological conditions triggered by gaslighting occur, these will need to be treated too.

The practice of self-compassion is important here [2]. Self-care activities, such as exercise and creativity, also help, e.g., listening to music, dancing, and journaling. Personal growth exhibited after recovery includes clearer boundaries and a more concrete sense of self [3].

REFERENCES:

[1] https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gaslighting (Accessed: 7th April 2025)
[2] https://www.mga.edu/news/2023/04/what-is-gaslighting-and-how-to-fight-back.php#:~:text=The%20modern%20definition%20of%20gaslighting,control%20of%20their%20intended%20target. (Accessed: 1st July 2025)
[3] W. Klein, S. Li, S. Wood, ' A qualitative analysis of gaslighting in romantic relationships', Personal Relationships, vol. 30(4), 2023.1316–1340.
[4] S. Fraser. 'The toxic power dynamics of gaslighting in medicine'. Can Fam Physician. vol. 67(5), 2021. 367-368.
[5] P. Sweet. 'Understanding Gaslighting: The patterns and powers that can undermine someone's sense of reality'. Scientific American. Vol. 327(4), 2022. 1022-56.
[6] S. Skoog Waller, U. Forinder. ‘Speaking Through Silence: The Lonelification at the Core of Domestic Abuse.’ Violence Against Women. 2025.
[7] M. Bellomare, V. Giuseppe Genova, P. Miano. ‘Gaslighting Exposure During Emerging Adulthood: Personality Traits and Vulnerability Paths.’ International Journal of Psychological Research (Medellin). 2024. vol.17(1). 29-39.
[8] M. Ciabatti , A. Nerini , C. Matera. ‘Gaslighting Experience, Psychological Health, and Well-being: The Role of Self-Compassion and Social Support.’ J Interpers Violence. 2024.